Choosing From Our Worth, Not Our Wound...

...another long one...for the future book.

Healing the Core Wounds: From Childhood Lockdown to Conscious Liberation
By Cynthia Spiece | Re-Imagine That! | YourVibeMatters.com

We all carry echoes of past pain tucked quietly inside our energy fields—whispers from moments we couldn’t fully process or speak aloud. They come from early caretakers, siblings, teachers, even friends. And while our adult lives may look completely different on the surface, the energetic and emotional imprints from those formative wounds can still be running the show underneath. One of the greatest illusions of childhood is that we had no choice.

And in many ways, we didn’t.

We were small. Dependent. Tuned in and wide open. And in those tender moments when we felt unseen, unheard, dismissed, or even abandoned, we locked in a pattern of emotional response that would go on to shape how we relate to others—unless and until we choose to rewire it.

The Wound Will Revisit You… Until It’s Rewritten

Let me share a story with you—one that reflects how subtle and sneaky our old patterns can be. A client of mine was experiencing ongoing frustration with her mother. Her mom, well-meaning and generous, would regularly come over to “help” in the cleaning of my clients home, as the client had expressed to her mother how overwhelmed she felt in trying to keep up with everything. But instead of relieving stress, her mother would unintentionally create more of it - tidying one area while making a mess in another and not cleaning up. Going overboard reorganizing drawers and cabinets but forgetting the basics that needed to be done.  My client would come home exhausted from work only to find another mess to clean up—created by the very person who was trying to ease her burden. It was triggering, irritating, and emotionally exhausting. She didn’t know how to stop it without causing a rift.

Here’s what I told her:

“Let it go. Let your mom have the drawers and her way of helping. This is your mother’s way of showing love. And the more you focus on how wrong or messy it is, the more that wrongness will expand. " We get more of what we are focusing and feeling remember? That is how the universe delivers the goods. So I felt it was imperative for her to  redirect her attention. Focus her energy where it’s actually needed— a creative work project that she had been putting off and needed to be done, in her spare time.  Let her soul have a win, a sense of order and drop the frustration energy. ” She shifted. She stopped resisting her mother’s attempts to help and focused her awareness elsewhere. (so vital) She gave herself what she was really longing for: energetic space.

And what happened?

Her mom stopped coming over as often, as other things started to demand her time and she told her she would no longer be able to help. Without the energetic charge of resistance from my client, the irritation dissolved and situation transformed to one of her liking.

But here’s the plot twist:

The moment my client made peace with this, a new trigger emerged—this time through romantic partners. A transfer happened and this is typical. A healing wants to occur so we bring ourselves opportunities to continue doing the work and the pattern won't leave us alone until we attend to it. Doesn’t mean we will but we would be wise to, in order to feel the type of freedom we have been yearning for in our associations and relationships.

Anyway, men she dated began confusing her, not being consistent and emotionally unavailable echoing the deeper imprint of grief and abandonment that had never fully been felt from her early life in her dysfunctional relationship with her mother. This is how the wound speaks--it shape-shifts through circumstance, but the frequency stays the same… until we meet it with love and liberation.  It was at this point that she had to really look at these situations and see that there was a common denominator. The mother that was now tending to her house cleaning was not always this caring and available in the past.  It was from her, that my clients first feelings of being neglected, not respected, and emotional inconsistency was somewhat the norm.  So it was at this point that she could see clearly how the unavailable and inconsistent men gig had actually been manifested.  The lights came on. Through her own belief. Her own past experience. Her own entrainment. Now she was ready to dig in to transform it. 

What Was Once Imprinted Becomes Repeated

What we experienced as children—especially if it came with strong emotions and no resolution—becomes the blueprint for how we believe we are to be treated. That blueprint becomes the vibrational set-point for our reality. If we learned that love meant inconsistency, neglect, over-responsibility, guilt,  invisibility or manipulation we will unconsciously seek out those patterns as adults—not because we want to suffer, but because it feels familiar. Known. Strangely safe. This is why we might find ourself attracting unavailable, critical, manipulative, overly dependent, avoidant, or even disrespectful partners or associations again and again.

And this is why they may feel so compelling even when they’re not healthy. It’s not just a poor choice—it’s a somatic addiction to a pattern we’ve known our whole life. In fact, brain science confirms that trauma bonding and intermittent reinforcement (being loved one day and ignored the next) activates the same neural pathways as drug addiction. So when we start to break the pattern, we might feel like we’re “losing” something—even though we’re actually gaining ourself. 

Standing in the Pattern Is the Power to Shift It
The moment we begin to see the loop—recognize that “this isn’t love, this is the wound playing itself out again”—we are holding the key to the prison door.

This is our get out of jail card.

Not necessarily to leave the relationship—but to change how we respond within it. Sometimes when we stop feeding the dysfunction—stop people-pleasing, over-apologizing, tolerating what hurts—the other person may no longer recognize us. They may pull away.

Why?

Because their role depended on our wound. And if we’re no longer available for the pain pattern, the dynamic has to change… or end. But this is freedom. This is choice. This is where we step into the sacred sovereignty of our adult self.

Wounding Begins in Powerlessness. Healing Begins in Choice.

As children, we didn’t get to choose who raised us. We didn’t get to change the household culture or rewrite the unspoken emotional rules.

We adapted.
We contorted.
We numbed.
We stayed silent.
We survived.
But the beauty of adulthood—the sacred turning point—is that we’re no longer locked in that emotional prison.
We can choose.
We can speak.
We can feel.
….And when we do… we begin to rewire our nervous system and reclaim our worth.

Feeling to Heal: The Power of Somatic Release

True healing is not just mental.
It is emotional.
It is cellular.
It is somatic.
The body remembers what the mind forgets. So when we finally allow ourselves to feel the grief, rage, sorrow, disappointment, or longing associated with our past, we unlock the trapped energy that has been silently driving our behaviors.
“The body keeps the score.”—Dr. Bessel van der Kolk. Also a book.

When we cry, shake, yell, breathe, or move through a somatic practice with intention, we are not just “releasing emotions.” We are rewriting the nervous system. We are teaching the body that it is safe now.

Safe to speak.
Safe to feel.
Safe to choose differently.

In fact, we must. Because the unprocessed wound doesn’t disappear. It lives in the body. It gets triggered in relationships and associations. It speaks in our nervous system. And eventually, it whispers into our physical health. True story. 

According to research from the ACE (Adverse Childhood Experiences) study, individuals with higher levels of early trauma are at significantly greater risk of developing chronic illness later in life. This includes heart disease, autoimmune conditions, digestive issues, and mental health disorders like anxiety or depression. Unfelt feelings don’t vanish—they embed. Issues in our tissues for sure man! Another reason to work out past pains.

The Wounded Inner Child vs. the Wise Adult Self
Healing isn’t linear. One day, you may respond with mature self-worth and clarity. The next, you may feel like the same five-year-old who wasn’t chosen, wasn’t heard, wasn’t held.

That’s okay.

The key is this:
We must keep choosing from our wise adult self. That self who knows what love feels like. Who knows what’s healthy. The part of us that has a good grip on the truth of the situation, the one that uses left ( logic ) and right ( intuitive knowing ) brain integration to either change perspectives or walk away from dynamics that dishonor our truth. Because if we don’t… we’ll keep choosing people, patterns, and partners who reflect our wound instead of our worth. 

A Loving Reframe
So many of us are afraid to feel the anger toward our parents or authority figures. We believe it’s disrespectful or “unspiritual.” We also have deep entrainment that family is the end all.  But here’s a sacred truth: Forgiveness does not require bypassing the truth. It requires honoring it. It’s okay to be angry. It’s okay to grieve what you didn’t get. And it’s more than okay—it’s powerful—to choose something different now. A different perspective, a different idea, a different way to respond or a different path. 

Re-Imagine That!
The universe responds not just to our words, but to our focus and feeling. When we shift our energy from lack to alignment, from irritation to acceptance to what is, the situation often resolves itself—or reveals the deeper thread asking for our attention. Remembering that acceptance to what is does not mean losing our boundaries or compromising our values. It means, this is what is and I now get to make a choice as to what I want to put my focus on, knowing I will create more of that. I get to choose how I do my life and it is not dictated by this situation. I am not a child that has no choice anymore, I am an adult now and can choose to feel, and do what honors what I need and how I know I deserve to be treated.

We are then no longer the child without options.
We are the sacred architect of our emotional reality.
Finally allowing ourselves to feel what was unfelt.
Letting ourselves choose what was once un acceptable.

And in doing so, you rewrite the story. RE-Imagine Our World. Contribute to the healing of our linage. 

Reflection Prompts

• What relationships still carry emotional charge in your system?
• Where do you feel “locked in” like you have no choice?
• What would your wise adult self say to your younger self in those moments?
• Can you name and feel the emotions you never got to feel?
• What choices can you make today that reflect freedom, not fear?
• Are there patterns in your romantic or personal life that feel addictive, even though they’re not loving?

Final Word
Your healing doesn’t need to be perfect. It needs to be honest.
Layer by layer.
Tear by tear.
Choice by choice.
This is sacred work. And you’re doing it.
As Rumi once said:
“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.”

​Go ahead, feel the fear but….Tell that Light to Come On In!

#yourvibematters #shiftyourshit #yourarethepeace #youarethelove #acknowledgeyourshadow #reimaginethepatterns 

Peace IN !
Cynthia Spiece
928.257.9588
Cynthiaspiece.com

RE-Imagine That! 
Re-Imagining Our Inner World For World Change.
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Please remember.
All ideologies that I express in my work have been chosen by sifting and selecting information that feels Intuitively spot on to me. My lifelong passion and obsession with all things transformational has seen me in many different situations in life. Studying and applying many different spiritual, religious and inspirational modalities. I do not ask or expect that you take these ideas and beliefs on, as your own. I ask that you only take from my work, what feels like a hit for you intuitively, pitch the rest and keep moving toward your peace, presence and power.  This will change the world. One person at a time. 
​You Do You. 

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